The Restart
by skr1991
Summary: Sometimes a total restart is all you need to mend something. Sometimes a total restart can be absolutely devastating...


_**Hello!**_

 _ **I hope you enjoy this! I know this is starting out slow. Trying to lay ground work down. I haven't written in sometime. Let me know what you think!**_

 _ **Enjoy3**_

 **DISCLAIMER: Universal owns all these characters and scenes. I only own Dr. Ella. Also this is rated M for later reasons as the story unfolds.**

 **PRELUDE**

It's weird to think that residency is over. I am now an attending physician at a world class hospital. It's also weird to think that a world class hospital with an Ivy League name is also in a dumpy city in the middle of an awfully small state. Not the smallest but, sure as hell small enough. I never really got a chance to see the world or do any exciting things in my younger years because of constant studying and cramming for exams and thesis' and papers and case studies and so on and so forth. It makes your head spin. So Connecticut is all I've seen. Besides the occasional you know, vacation here and there.

But, anyways.

Medical students and residents thrive on coffee and blood but, there's groups, categories if you will, of us crazy residents and medical students. Low on the totem pole is medical students. They follow attendings around like little puppy dogs and have to write everything down. It drives attendings and older residents nuts because, you can't learn from writing things down in this business. It's all hands on. Next up from that is first years, just as annoying and over worked. And so on and so forth they get less annoying as you go up. Most specialties take 4 years, I was lucky and needed only three. Emergency only needs three. And on the more annoying side of the spectrum (which TV says they run hospitals.. Not.) are surgeons. Surgeons, like our trusty TV friend Meredith Grey says, will do anything to cut... Most of the time. The other times they're in caffeine withdrawal and scream at everyone for doing their job wrong. Which we don't. You're just broke and need your coffee. Also, our friends at Grey's call the ER the Pit. No. Wrong. Don't do that. We don't like that. At all. No Bueno.

Needless to say I, Dr. Ella Grace Ryan, now am an attending. I literally hold people's lives in my hands. Which is a blessing and a curse. Lord knows, I need his guidance but, I will nonetheless do my best to uphold my oath as a doctor. I am excited to start my life and get to work.

 **November 19th, 2017**

Just like any other day, I wake up, drag myself out of bed. I walk out to kitchen of my apartment and turned on my Keurig. I walked over to the back door and looked out the window. The fall reached it's peak of here in New Haven, Connecticut. The colors on the trees were vibrant with warm autumn colors. The sun's morning rays peeking in through the gaps between the leaves making its way through my window. The warmth on my skin sent a very calm feeling through me. I closed my eyes for a minute and soaked in the heat. Thanksgiving was coming around and kids were on their way to school with bags in tow. One girl was nose deep in a book. I reminisced of those days when I was in elementary school. I was that nerdy girl. Part of me missed that little innocent girl that used to be me. Part of me didn't. I'm a woman now. If that innocent girl met me now, she would be happy that I became what we set to be, a doctor, but, she would not be happy about personal matters in life. It's crazy what one event can do to you and mess up your psyche.

BEEP!

My Keurig was all warmed and took me off memory lane. I took out the old cup that was in there and placed a new one in. I opened the cabinet above it and grabbed my to-go cup that I had recently been given to by my little sister. She knows I'm a Starbucks girl. True White Girl at heart, to say the least. Yeah, yoga pants, NorthFace, and my Ugg boots in tow every time I go there. Pretty lame I know. I finished making my coffee and packing my lunch bag, popping an extra Oreo in my mouth. Breakfast of champions. I walked down to my room grabbing my hunter green scrubs. My name was embroidered on the top left hand side right above the pocket. It makes me smile every time I see MD after my name. Smiling to myself, I made my way towards my bathroom. I turned the water on and set my scrubs on the sink. As I was waiting for the water to warm up, I took my hair tie out of my hair shaking my head from side to side. I grabbed my toothbrush and began to brush my teeth. I walked back out into my room and grabbed a white long sleeve shirt to put underneath my scrubs and grabbing my phone. I used my thumb print to unlock my phone. I hit the music app and scrolled to my favorite song. I hit play and walked back into the bathroom. Humming along and brushing my teeth. I turned the sink on and spit the toothpaste out and rinsed my mouth out. I gave my teeth another brush around and rinsed again. I rinsed my toothbrush put it back and looked at myself in the mirror. My roots needed to be done. My bags under my eyes were prominent. Mostly from the nightmares last night. I shook it off and looked away. I got myself undressed and stepped in the shower. I stood under the water, letting it run over me. Trying to shake off feelings from last nights tosses and turns, turned into me almost falling a sleep in the shower. I looked at the clock I hung in my bathroom (I'm notorious for being late) and realized that I was running, again, super late. I looked at the clock again and took a mental note as to what time I started at.

Ready. Set. Go.

Ten minutes later, I looked at the clock. "Yup, I'm going to be late. It's always the makeup." I said sucking my cheek in disapproval of myself. I looked in the mirror making sure I looked presentable, fluffed my hair, made sure my mascara and eyeliner were even. I'm set. I clapped my hands and rubbed them together. "I'm good." I breathed. "Let's go save some lives today." Gave myself a self-five. I know I'm a very odd human being. It's the product of being alone a lot. My roommate in college never really was around. She was always holding a study group and/or doing something really smart people related. You know those overly barring, organized people things. But, she was really cool. We actually became really good friends. In fact, she is one of my best friends. Probably because we like to talk to ourselves. No but, really, we actually have a lot in common. She is type A, I'm more laid back and more free and wild. We're each other's gravity. She is like a director/manager/theme park operator. No one is really clear on her job title. But, she is basically running the show. She is the boss. After last years incident, I'm shocked they even reopened, well considering reopening the park. Turns out, having a crazy genetically modified hybrid Dino running around going "2007 Britney Spears" on everyone because basically she's "finding herself", makes people, who are just as crazy, want to go back. I am proud to say, that I am DEFINITELY one of those people. Maybe I should just text her and see if she can hook me up with some kind of deal.

I grabbed my work bag, made sure my stethoscope was in there and my notepad and my pens. I grabbed my keys to my Jeep and slipped my Danskos on, locked the door and headed to work. I had a feeling it was going to be a long 10 hours. The hassle of parking for work is just a headache in general. I have to leave about a 45 minutes earlier than my shift for a 10 minute drive due to trying to find a parking space. So after looking for what seemed like forever of finding a spot, I maneuvered my jeep backing into the space available. Grabbed my things and my badge off my rear view and headed inside. On my way inside, my phone rang. I frantically looked through my bag to grab it and finally grabbed it just in time to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Ella, it's Claire!" Well, she sounded chipper. "Claire! Oh my gosh! How are you? I was just thinking about you this morning! I wanted to see you!"

"That's why I was calling you!" She was a little too high pitched for the phone and I let out a little giggle moving the phone away from my ear a little. "Well, when's a good date? I totally am not opposed to coming to Costa Rica to The island if you want me too!"

"Actually, that's what I was going to suggest. With all the reopening planning and what not.." I cut her off. "So they are reopening it?"

"Yeah, they are. Which is why I have been so busy and I feel like a terrible friend for not coming home to you when you needed me most. How are you holding up?" I stopped in my tracks trying to keep myself from crying. It must of been a bit. "E? You there" I snapped back to reality. "Yeah, I'm here. Sorry. Yeah. I'm hanging in. Hey listen. I'm just about to clock in and I just heard the trauma alert go off. Can I call you later?"

"Yeah, of course. We'll talk later. I got a lot to tell you anyways." I smiled and laughed a little. "You always do, crazy girl. You always do."

We said good bye and I hung up. I leaned against the wall. I looked down at my phone. He was still my lock screen. I didn't have the heart to take him off. I don't think I ever will. A tear escaped my eye. I quickly wiped it away.

I really think I do need a vacation.


End file.
